The Day I Was Stood Up

It sounds like I could be trying to make a joke but I was genuinely stood up on a date. It was a few years ago, I was 22 and using Plenty of Fish at the time ( believe me, there will be a whole post dedicated to POF). I was chatting to a guy online for a couple of days when he suggested meeting up. His name was John, he was good looking and had a successful job. He asked what my favourite restaurant was and could he take me there. I agreed and we decided to go for dinner that Friday. Thankfully, the restaurant wasn’t too far from me. This was the first time to go on a date with someone I met online.

I told my friend Katie and we went shopping to find something to wear for the date. I went with a nice top and jeans with gorgeous wine coloured heels (which turned out to be the best thing that came out of this situation). I wanted to look nice but not too dressy for dinner. John informed me he liked getting dressed up for dates. He was funny.

Everything was going well until the Thursday evening. He started asking me things like would I kiss him at dinner. I thought this was a bit weird and joked that I didn’t plan kissing, I preferred being spontaneous. He also hinted at sex after dinner to which I straight out told him I wouldn’t sleep with him on the first date. Obviously if he wasn’t into that, I assume now is the time he should come out and say “well I’m only looking for fun, or hook ups” or whatever. I certainly would have respected him for being straight and not wasting my time. But John didn’t say that. John said that was cool. And continued to chatting. I will also point out now that we were still chatting through POF and had not exchanged numbers before the date (yes I know that now!?!).

Friday evening came, I was so excited and nervous. My friend dropped me down to the restaurant. I would like to point out how important it is to tell people when you are meeting up with someone you don’t know well, especially from the Wacky Web! I told Katie and my sister Gillian. I was a few minutes early and waited in the lobby outside the main restaurant. I thank the gods that I did not say I would meet him INSIDE the establishment! A few minutes passed, as did a couple and a group of girls. I started to get a horrible feeling but I waited another ten minutes. I texted my sister telling her he hadn’t arrived yet. Without his number all I could do was message him on the app. The little box flashed up “You have been blocked”!!!! I felt humiliated, thinking everyone who now walked through the door looked at me and knew the truth. She wasn’t waiting on someone, She was stood up. I told Gillian who said she was really sorry. Her husband had just left the house to go to the shops  and she was at home with the kids, so she told him to pick me up. She didn’t tell him what I was doing there. Neither did I and he didn’t ask.

As I sat in my sister’s house I pondered why he didn’t show. Either he just wasn’t bothered after he knew he wasn’t getting any, or he was a catfish. Both options are as likely, to be honest. Initially annoyed, I’m not ashamed to say I went home and put up a picture on my POF profile of me in a skin tight dress. I felt a bit better getting lots of messages that night and also hoped John might see the picture. The next day after the embarrassment faded I took the photo down. I soon accepted the fact that one day I would look back at this and laugh, maybe even learn from it. (1. Get a phone number. 2. Maybe chat for a bit longer than a week.) That day came when John messaged me last year. Oblivious to the fact he stood me up he started a new conversation with me! He still had the same two pictures up which support the catfish theory. Instead of being annoyed or upset that he didn’t remember me, I just laughed it off. I have still only told Katie and Gillian (and now the internet) but I’m not embarrassed anymore.

I guess it’s all just material for my memoirs ha ha!

Bré x


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