What if the hill did have eyes?
Let me set the scene for you. I was meeting Mitch for a second date. We had got on so well on the first one, I felt like I knew him ages. He wanted to show me the view from Killiney Hill, something he had mentioned on the first date. I decided to wear a midi dress which was a big trend at the time. I paired it with Vans to look “hot but cool”. I also decided to wear my sucky in knickers too to make myself feel that extra bit confident. Now for anyone not aware of this, the knickers (also known as Spanx) are so tight it sucks in all the lumps and bumps. It also restricts movement but seeing as we were driving to Killiney for a nice walk to chat I thought I’d be fine.
I was wrong. We arrive at Killiney, park and get out to look at the beautiful view down to the sea. We chatted for a bit. It was nice because for our first date we went to a pub for a “few” drinks so it was nice to see each other sober and relaxed. After a little while of what I thought was a perfect evening Mitch announces “the view is much better from the hill, let’s go up” and proceeds to walk across the road to a trail. When I questioned the hike he said it’s only a couple of minutes. And I believed him. Until I realised that my unfit couple of minutes and his recreational jogger few minutes were worlds apart. The first few were fine and I told myself I was doing well.
Then it hit me, the sting in my calf. Next the sexy heavy breathing kicked in which seemed to get worse when he talked to me and I attempted to answer back. So there I am, hiking up the side of a mountain (there I said it), my underwear starting to cut off circulation, my makeup melting off my face. I thanked God it was night time. And then it hit me. “Oh my God, what if we’re not alone.” I look ahead at Mitch. It was only the second date and I basically walked into a dark forest with him. “What if his mates or something are up here, waiting to attack me?” I looked back. We were half way between the bottom and the top. “Could I run?” Clearly not when I was struggling to just walk. I tried to brush the irrational thoughts away but with every twist and turn of the trail my mind went ninety. Against all the screaming in my head, I walked on.
When we came to end of the trail, I found out why we wanted to get me up there. The view was incredible. One side showed a pitch black canvas of the sea, the other diamonds floating across the land. We sat for a bit, chatted some more and I took some photos. I felt terrible for thinking he wanted to murder me.