Do you ever suddenly realise that someone (most likely a boy) isn’t what he seemed? Or maybe he was and now he’s changed?
The back story..
I met Will almost five years ago when I went out with a friend one random night. She was meeting old college friends and Will was one of them. We clicked straight away. After the bar we all walked to one of the lads’ houses for more drinks. Will and I kissed on the way there. He took my number and actually text me the next day. It was great. Will is from Dundalk so after texting for a bit he asked me out and came down to Dublin. He made the effort. We went for a drink and then to a film. He had a weird sense of humour like me, and is super tall (I’m 5′ 10″ remember). I really liked him.
After the date we kept texting all the time and the next week I drove up to him. We just hung out in his, watched films. And this is the part where you will think I’m either a bitch or just a weirdo. I don’t know what it was, but something inside me just thought “I’m not sure about this”. When I left his house I went home. After a few days, I started not texting me back as enthusiastically. I wouldn’t send big long messages back. And he still wrote long texts and was eager. I started to feel this pressure or something. When I wouldn’t write back he’d text me again after a while. I told him I thought it was a bit much. He apologised and said he wouldn’t text me as much, but I just felt like it was done and I didn’t want to see him again.
Looking back I know that it was most likely the typical “girls don’t like good guys”. Lame excuse I know. As you will find out from this blog I have a history of picking assholes so I think when Will seemed actually interested in me and made an effort I didn’t know what to do so I bailed. Or perhaps I was young and stupid. Or just a bitch. Maybe it was a combination.
The rest of the back story..
I don’t remember the period in between that and when we were back talking. I’m sure there was an awkward patch where we didn’t text but I couldn’t even tell you how long. I’ve always remembered talking to Will, whether texting or on Facebook, but I know we were basically always flirting.
After I stopped seeing the guy I worked with two years ago we started texting again. My friend even mentioned about us flirting on Facebook. Then at Halloween that year I remember he was texting me asking for a photo. After a couple of drinks I hinted at something between us and he said he had just broken up with someone and wasn’t ready for anything else. I guess I was disappointed. Surely if Will liked me that much years ago and he seemed like he still did, he should have wanted to start seeing me if he had the chance? Yes, a selfish thought but I have to tell you the whole story or what’s the point? So we left it for another while. I hoped he’d make a move when he was ready.
I used to always think about Will. I even thought about writing a post and calling it something cheesey like “The one who got away”. I’m still not sure if he was or not. But he was nice to me. He has a head on his shoulders. He’s a manager and bought his own house last year. We have good chemistry. Then again, we could have started dating and he may have turned out to be an asshole too. I haven’t seen him in a few years though so it culd all be in my head. I guess it’s the not knowing that keeps him coming to mind every now and then.
OK so not only do we still talk on Facebook and texting but now there was Snapchat too (we all know what an evil flirtatious trap Snapchat can be. No? Just me?). Lately we’ve been texting a lot. A while back we chatted about me coming up to Dundalk but nothing came of it. But he would be down in Dublin and never tell me.
OK so I’ll point out now that years ago I owned this silk shirt. Just a normal shirt you would wear out but he had this thing about it. He used to joke about me sending him pictures of me in it. Honestly like it was literally a normal shirt I’ve no idea why he liked it so much. Anyway, recently he started telling me that I’d have to send him a picture if I wanted to know when he down in Dublin. He never talked like that in the beginning. So I told him I threw the shirt out (which I did). He was not impressed. Well he didn’t seem impressed but then again his humour sometimes made things a little unclear.
So last Saturday I was having drinks in my brothers and I was texting Will. After joking a bit he said something about me “trying to get rid of him five years ago”. So was that it? Was he still bothered by that? Could we not move past it? Had it changed him? A lot of questions but no answers. We were texting most days this week and on Thursday night he text me at 11pm to say he was in Dublin and heading home in the next hour. Like why doesn’t he tell me so we can make plans?
Either he just isn’t interested anymore and is playing me. Or maybe he is and is just worried about me bailing again. I’ve made it clear that I’m interested in him. I’ve mentioned going up to visit him. Either way I think it might be time to give up on the idea of Will.
What do you think?