While at a party last week, the subject of psycho exes came up. One friend, Melissa, said how she hates people over reacting, saying their ex is a psycho. I said I’ve never had a psycho ex boyfriend before. To which Rose said “Eh yeah you have” as if it was common knowledge. I racked my brain, thinking who she was referring to. The only one who would come close would be my first boyfriend and she didn’t really know him. I asked her who she meant.
“That guy you worked with who pretended he didn’t have a girlfriend.”
She was referring to Brian. From when I was like eighteen.
“Yeah he lied about being single. That doesn’t make him a psycho, it makes him an asshole.”
This is exactly what Melissa meant by people exaggerating when it came to exes. I went on..
“Speaking of Brian and psycho exes”
And I proceeded to tell them a little story…
I had only been seeing Brian a little while when I was out with a friend one night. Brian was texting me and told us to go over to his afterwards for a few drinks. I was eighteen and he was twenty three. His own car and apartment, which was all new to me. We headed over and were not long there when there was a knock on the door. Brian looked in the peephole and turned to us.
Samantha was his ex girlfriend. They hadn’t been split up long when we started seeing each other. She used to work in our job before I started. I had never seen her before. He then opened the door and asked what she was doing there. She asked to come in. He let her. This would be the first “why” of many I would say in my head. She was surprised to see us there but she sat down, calm as a cucumber and had a drink with us. She had to know one of us was seeing him. Through conversation something came up about an age (I think it was twenty five) so she said “Oh you’re twenty five?” to me.
“No I’m eighteen.”
Then I realised. Someone in work told me before. She was thirty one. She was sitting in front of a girl over ten years younger than her, who was possibly dating her ex. There was an awkward silence and a death stare flashed towards Brian. My friend went for a smoke and Samantha went too. Brian kept apologising. I said we would go but he asked us to stay. When they came back in Brian and Samantha got us more drinks. My friend informed me that Samantha knew it was me he was seeing, then told her very personal things, like that they had had a miscarriage the previous year. I felt terrible and so uncomfortable. Eventually Samantha left and we all went to bed.
At seven am there was knocking on the door. I didn’t pay much attention until Brian came back in to tell me Samantha was back and could I go into my friend in the spare room. I did and had to awkwardly explain to my friend what was going on. We then proceeded to sit there on the bed and listen to him explain that she can’t just show up like this. She asked to use the bathroom and he let her in. There was silence for a few minutes and then a knock and Brian’s voice.
“Samantha, what are you doing?”
I couldn’t hear the response.
“No, stop cleaning!”
I kid you not she was scrubbing at the bathroom floor. After about ten minutes she came out. I heard her suggest she would go to the shop to get sausages and rashers. She wanted to come back up and make us breakfast. Yes, us. She knew we were in the spare room and wanted to make food for everyone. Brian told her no. He said he would drop us home and that when he came back she would have to leave. So he drove us home, awkward silence and all, while his ex girlfriend cleaned his bathroom.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is a psycho ex.
What do you guys think? Ever have anything mad like that happen to you?