An example of a psycho ex

While at a party last week, the subject of psycho exes came up. One friend, Melissa, said how she hates people over reacting, saying their ex is a psycho. I said I’ve never had a psycho ex boyfriend before. To which Rose said “Eh yeah you have” as if it was common knowledge. I racked my brain, thinking who she was referring to. The only one who would come close would be my first boyfriend and she didn’t really know him. I asked her who she meant.

“That guy you worked with who pretended he didn’t have a girlfriend.”

She was referring to Brian. From when I was like eighteen.

“Yeah he lied about being single. That doesn’t make him a psycho, it makes him an asshole.”

This is exactly what Melissa meant by people exaggerating when it came to exes. I went on..

“Speaking of Brian and psycho exes”

And I proceeded to tell them a little story…

I had only been seeing Brian a little while when I was out with a friend one night. Brian was texting me and told us to go over to his afterwards for a few drinks. I was eighteen and he was twenty three. His own car and apartment, which was all new to me. We headed over and were not long there when there was a knock on the door. Brian looked in the peephole and turned to us.

“It’s Samantha.”

Samantha was his ex girlfriend. They hadn’t been split up long when we started seeing each other. She used to work in our job before I started. I had never seen her before. He then opened the door and asked what she was doing there. She asked to come in. He let her. This would be the first “why” of many I would say in my head. She was surprised to see us there but she sat down, calm as a cucumber and had a drink with us. She had to know one of us was seeing him. Through conversation something came up about an age (I think it was twenty five) so she said “Oh you’re twenty five?” to me.

“No I’m eighteen.”

Then I realised. Someone in work told me before. She was thirty one. She was sitting in front of a girl over ten years younger than her, who was possibly dating her ex. There was an awkward silence and a death stare flashed towards Brian. My friend went for a smoke and Samantha went too. Brian kept apologising. I said we would go but he asked us to stay. When they came back in Brian and Samantha got us more drinks. My friend informed me that Samantha knew it was me he was seeing, then told her very personal things, like that they had had a miscarriage the previous year. I felt terrible and so uncomfortable. Eventually Samantha left and we all went to bed.

At seven am there was knocking on the door. I didn’t pay much attention until Brian came back in to tell me Samantha was back and could I go into my friend in the spare room. I did and had to awkwardly explain to my friend what was going on. We then proceeded to sit there on the bed and listen to him explain that she can’t just show up like this. She asked to use the bathroom and he let her in. There was silence for a few minutes and then a knock and Brian’s voice.

“Samantha, what are you doing?”

I couldn’t hear the response.

“No, stop cleaning!”

I kid you not she was scrubbing at the bathroom floor. After about ten minutes she came out. I heard her suggest she would go to the shop to get sausages and rashers. She wanted to come back up and make us breakfast. Yes, us. She knew we were in the spare room and wanted to make food for everyone. Brian told her no. He said he would drop us home and that when he came back she would have to leave. So he drove us home, awkward silence and all, while his ex girlfriend cleaned his bathroom.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is a psycho ex.

What do you guys think? Ever have anything mad like that happen to you?

 

Bré x

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Why am I single?

Recently someone (a guy) asked me how was I still single, because I seem really cool. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked. I find guys ask this because they think it’s a compliment, maybe they think I’ll gush and fall for them. But this isn’t the way to impress me or get my attention. I can’t recall a single woman asking me this question. And I find it hard to believe that men get asked this question often.

It got me thinking anyway. When people ask this question I feel it implies that the only reason someone can be single is because a “suitor” hasn’t chosen to be with them. Nothing to do with our choices. I’ll be honest it does make you think “Wait why am I single? What’s wrong with me?” And so I came up with some reasons why I’m single. You can pick one or all of them, because they’re all true (at some level).

Why am I single? Because:

  • I want to be
  • I have high expectations
  • Of wrong choices I have made with men
  • Of mistakes I’ve made
  • I find it hard to trust
  • I haven’t found ‘the one’
  • I haven’t found someone I can put up with
  • I haven’t found someone who loves horror as much as me
  • I haven’t found someone who loves me enough
  • I haven’t found someone who’s not a massive dickhead
  • I fear commitment
  • I’m not emotionally or mentally stable enough right now for a relationship
  • I’m too young to settle down
  • I’m too old to waste time on fuckboyz
  • I’m still trying to get my own life together without worrying about another person too
  • I sometimes don’t have enough time to shower and eat never mind have to put time in with another person
  • I like flirting and enjoy my little crushes
  • I can’t commit to owning a dog right now never mind a human
  • Of my friends who are in horrible relationships
  • I don’t put up with shit anymore

So there we are. Some reasons why I’m single right now. Maybe next time a guy asks me I’ll send them this list and see if they’re still interested haha!

 

 

Bré x

The Irish Office-Episode 2

Hi everyone! You all seemed so interested when I wrote about my new job and the office ( https://writingsofasinglegirl.wordpress.com/2016/05/11/the-office-irish-version/ ) so I thought I’d let you know what else has happened!

On the road

Part of my new job involves taking over the accounts in Northern Ireland. This meant that last week me and my boss had to go to Armagh for me to get trained. Two hours in a car with my boss up and back. What on earth would we talk about? Linda who had to go up before said it’s grand. Mainly because the boss just keeps talking. She said I’d find out all about his wife. I thought she was joking. She wasn’t. I had heard she kept him on a tight leash, and that she ruled the roost. But he basically told me it. He was even late picking me up because as he was walking out the door she told him to watch the kids while she had a shower (surely she knew he had to leave early because he goes to Armagh once a month!). He told me that she doesn’t work because she’s at home with the kids (although she didn’t work before that either) but when he gets home he has to cook dinner and she tells him what to cook. He does the cleaning etc too. Apparently the reason he couldn’t do the walk ( https://writingsofasinglegirl.wordpress.com/2016/05/26/how-1km-becomes-5km/comment-page-1/ ) was because had to cook dinners for their holiday the next day! He tells the lads in work and they all think he’s mad.

The deli

There is nothing around our office but a little dinky deli. Nothing fancy. They got a new girl in and although she is lovely she can’t make a wrap to save her life. There’s never enough on it and one day I even made a point of saying nicely “oh can I get extra cheese on it?” “sure!”..Nope. Half of my roll had cheese. Linda is gas, she says skinny girls shouldn’t work behind counters because they don’t know proper proportions haha!

IT guy

Want to get over a crush? Start working with them. Seriously. He moans about everything. It’s too cold, too warm, we’re making too much noise, the phones vibrate too loud. Honestly, how did he seem so much more fun in my old office?

The clique

Yesterday they talked about how good a cake was (that someone brought in- people are always bringing in cake). For ten minutes. Ten minutes! I mean I like cake as much as anyone else but just shut up and eat it. Then today one of the girls was on the phone to someone and made a mistake and said “oh sorry that’s the blonde” and the rest started laughing “she’s hilarious”. Well firstly how is she funny that joke is so old. Secondly it’s a bad joke.

Oh and remember the table they love to sit at. I genuinely think it’s a compulsion at this point. We were sitting there the other day because we went on lunch early (I don’t even know why I’m trying to justify why we were sitting there). They all came in and started sitting in beside us. OK at a push, this table is designed for eight people. There were now twelve of us at it. Feckin’ twelve. Just sit at another table! I wouldn’t mind if they even included us in conversation but they don’t, so why sit with us?

Danny

Danny is still leaving as soon as the boss does (which can be up to two hours early). Recently he told me he is actually on probation because he called in sick a lot before his transfer. I would think that would be a good reason to make a good impression now. He seems to like the job but I’m not sure.

OK well that’s enough for this episode ha.

Bré x

When I was 14 I shaved my eyebrows

It was summer and we were hanging out in my friends estate. There was us few, the lads and another small group of girls we hung out with too sometimes. The other girls started talking about one of the girl’s eyebrows because she had got them done. They were really thin.They all kept saying how lovely they were. No one said anything to me but when I went home and looked in the mirror all I could see where two dark bushy brows. I thought about that pretty girl, and the other pretty girls saying how nice her eyebrows were. I thought about the boys standing around as the girls said this. Including the boy I fancied.

So I took the razor and I “groomed them”. I actually thought I could use a blade to evenly and symmetrically shape my eyebrows. To say I failed was an understatement. I basically shaved the ends off so they looked like two black blocks. I hid from my mother the next morning and ran down to my friends. She started laughing as I lifted the baseball cap up to show her. I wore it for the rest of the day. Oh did I forget to mention it was Good Friday? And that my friend’s mother made her go to church. So she said she’d go down with me. I had to go into church, take my baseball cap off and sit there with my head down. Luckily my friend told us we could leave after ten minutes because it meant she could tell her mother who she saw at mass and she would believe that we went ha.

You’re probably wondering why I didn’t ask my mam to bring me to get them waxed or something. I was barely shaving my legs and I guess I was too embarrassed to ask. And in that moment I hated them and wanted them gone. This post originally came to mind as just a funny embarrassing story to share but when I got thinking I saw a little deeper. I tried to make my eyebrows look like the other girls. To fit in. Looking back, the boys weren’t even listening. They didn’t even notice her brows.

When I was 19 I plucked them into thin little pencil lines. I cringe looking back but they were the trend at the time. I even remember my friend asking me to do hers like that. When I look back at photos as a preteen I had beautiful full brows and I wish I had never touched them. Fortunately in my early twenties I became more comfortable with my full dark brows and now I would never change them. Even today the trend is basically to have non existent brows and draw the perfect shape with make up. But I am over the trends. In fact I don’t actually let anyone else touch my brows now ha.

And it’s not just me. As a beauty therapist I met women of all ages who regret shaving or plucking their brows to fit in with trends because they no longer grew for them. I have actually said to friends I would hate to be a teenager now because there is a lot more pressure now to conform to the trends. You need to be happy with your own features. Make sure to go somewhere reputable that will shape them to compliment your face. This goes for more than just brows too. Be careful what trends you follow for make up, your body, diets, everything.

Well I think that’s enough preaching haha.

Have a great Sunday!

Bré x

Just a funny little story..

Hi all! I apologise for the absenteeism ha. I’ve been working like mad and then spent last weekend at Forbidden Fruit. Then my internet was acting the maggot this week blah blah blah.. You don’t care (I barely care). Anyway I’m back on track with lots of blog posts coming this weekend. I hope you all enjoy.

But I wanted to share this cute story with you. I was chatting to a lady, Barbara about nails the other day. She had lovely long nails and she told me she used to be a bad nail biter as a child. Then when she was about twelve her father told her a new girl started in his office. She had lovely long nails and all the boys fancied her. So then from that moment on Barbara never bit her nails again! Haha talk about motivation!

 

Bré x

The Office-Irish version

Hi everyone! Hope you’re getting through the week alright ha.

This is my eight week in the new job so I thought I would let you know how I’m getting on and tell you a bit about the characters in the office.

The Job

It’s similar to what I was doing in administration but on a much larger scale a few more responsibilities.

The Office

In the last job there was four of us in a small room. Here it’s a big open plan office with up to thirty people in it on any given day. This includes the directors and C.E.O who sit only two rows over! I’m always conscious when I’m talking on the phone because everyone hears everything.

The boss

There is five people on my team including my boss. He reminds me of David Brent from the office. He likes to be one of the lads, cool. He loves his meetings. Team meetings, one to ones, loves ’em. He always talks about the last place he worked for. “Back in *company* we did this and that”. All in all, he’s pretty easy going for a boss.

David_Brent_111

Julie

She’s a little quirky. At one of the meetings she asked to read out some of her poems and invites us to her art exhibitions. She also sends random emails out to everyone in the office about silly things. She’s quite nice though, helpful.

Danny

Like me Danny moved from a different department to here. He’s lovely but likes to take it easy. As soon as the boss is gone he’s on his trail, out the door and home. The first day our boss was on holidays he called in sick.

Linda

She sits beside me and is really nice and helpful. She’s also a bit mad but that just makes the day more interesting ha.

HR

The woman who interviewed me for the job is actually so nice, we get on really well. I think we had actually both been nervous in the interview!

The Clique

Honest to God, it’s something straight out of Mean Girls, except half of them are male. They sit at the “head table” in the canteen and if anyone else is there when they come in they all have a face on them. One of the lads is a real hipster, the girls all eat nothing and are skinny. Seriously, one day one of them had a bowl of rocket leaves and some berries…….?! They never invite the rest of us to go for lunch. They have the newest phones, clothes, etc. Three sit near me and the rest come over for ‘the bants’. One day they guy beside me got some runners delivered to the office and they all swarmed over to discuss them. And it’s not a simple “yeah they’re nice” or “I don’t like them”. They discussed the price, colour, delivery time, if they squeeked, even comparing them to one of the other lad’s runners. All three feet from my desk.

The IT guy

If you’re not aware of IT guy, here you go:https://writingsofasinglegirl.wordpress.com/2016/03/16/the-one-with-the-it-guy/

I sit beside him. As in back to back. You can’t get closer than that! Turns out he’s part of the clique. Only talking to me or Danny when the others aren’t around. No shoulder squeezing going on here. I hate myself for still liking him a little…just a teeny bit. Again though, he’s only interested in talking when I play it cool. One day I wasn’t giving him any attention and when I was on a late lunch (everyone else was back at work) he came in and sat down with me! To talk to me I think but I’m fed up of this hot & cold act. (What do you guys think??)

Do I like it?

Yes! It can be stressful sometimes but the job is great and once I got to working in such a big office I was grand. Everyday is different. And I’m definitely happy to be gone from the horrible environment in the other office.

 

 

Bré x

 

 

 

 

My friend and her boyfriend don’t sleep together

Hey everyone, happy Monday!

I just wanted to share this with you because I think it’s so odd. A while back my friend Rose moved in with her boyfriend. They were together about eight months. She was living in a 2 bedroom apartment when he moved in. We were out one night recently and she said something about Tony’s room and I laughed thinking maybe she meant that his junk was in there. But she was serious. When he moved in all his stuff went into the second room. And so did he. Rose said “ya know, it’s grand when you want your own space”.

We went out on the weekend and I stayed in hers after (easier for taxis and that). I stayed in her room and she went into Tony’s room with him. I just didn’t get it at all. Why make that kind of commitment and move in with someone that you don’t even want to share a bed with at night? If they could only afford to rent a one bedroom apartment (and that is the way things are going in Ireland’s rental market) they would have to share a bedroom. All their clothes, bits and bobs in one room with one bed.

Obviously I’m single now but one of my favourite parts of being in a relationship is sharing a bed with someone. The whole situation reminds me of that episode of King of Queens where they accidentally get twin beds delivered instead of a king size. At first they love the space, only going over to each other for sex and heading back to their own bed. Eventually they miss sharing a bed and get rid of the twins.

What do you all think? Is it just me?

 

Bré x

 

 

 

 

 

To my friends who don’t drive

Hi everyone, happy Friday!

So the other day I was heading out with my friend to get a coffee and have a browse in the shops. I left my house to pick up my friend (who lives about a fifteen minute drive away) and text her. When I got to her house I got a text to say she wasn’t ready yet. When I mentioned that I had told her I was on the way she said “calm the ham” and laughed.

OK so I get it’s not a big deal but after thinking about it there are always things that I want to say but don’t want to start an argument. Bear in mind, this isn’t just the one friend. It seems to be all of them who don’t drive or own a car. So here it is, my bit of therapy ha.

  • I text you five minutes before I actually leave because I know you’re never ready when I get down to you. I then have to sit in the car and wait for you. (If I come in you’ll just take longer)
  • On average you have fifteen minutes longer than me to get ready. To straighten your hair more. To do intense eye makeup. And yet you still let me sit there while you change your outfit or do another coat of mascara.
  • You get to see what my final look is before you decide on yours.
  • Once you took so long a guy came over to the car to ask if I was looking to score drugs.
  • I worked hard and bought my car. I pay my road tax and car insurance. Petrol is not the only expense.
  • Speaking of petrol, it’s nice to offer petrol money when we’re going somewhere far. Especially when it’s your idea to go there. I may refuse to take it, but it’s the offer that counts.
  • I put petrol in my car to do me the week, get me to and from work. Just because there’s half a tank of gas does not mean we can “go on a drive”.
  • I spent thousands on my car. Do not leave your rubbish in the car. Do not spill crumbs or let chocolate MELT on to the seat.
  • I double back on journeys and pass by my house to drop you home at night.
  • Again, on average it takes me fifteen minutes longer to get home. Don’t act like it’s a big deal when I don’t want to stay out late.
  • When we go shopping, it costs two tolls on top of petrol and I come home without the stuff I wanted to get because you were rushing me.
  • You just assume I’ll bring you places.
  • You strategically plan things so you will get a lift.
  • You cancel plans when I ask you to get the bus and meet me halfway for something. Or God forbid I want to have a drink.

I get that it was my choice to buy a car to commute instead of public transport. The expenses are mine. I’m cool with driving most places. So please, just out of respect, make sure you’re ready when you say you will be!

 

Bré x

 

 

 

 

Man with a van

I thought I’d share a funny story with you all. Years ago, when we were about nineteen, one of my friends met a guy when we were out. Now Stacey was a year younger than me but a lot more naive. We had been out at a club and at the end of the night a guy came over to us. Me and Jessica were having none of it. When a guy waits until the end of the night, outside the club and comes on to the whole group, it’s not a good sign. He’s just hoping to get with someone, anyone, before the night is over.

Stacey though was delighted. She told us she didn’t want to go for food, that Mark (I don’t remember his name) was going to take her home in a taxi. Me and Jessica looked at each other, asked her was she sure? She was adamant. We headed to McDonald’s and while we were eating we called her to check she was OK. She was just coming into her estate. She text me when she was home. The next day we went for coffee and she dished the dirt. Remember, Stacey also lives at home with her over protective parents. When the taxi pulled up he got out of the car. She asked him what he was doing and he said he was making sure she got in the door. She said she was fine and after a couple of other cheesey excuses he gave up and got back in the taxi.

It was only a couple of weeks after that, when we were out again, that she told me the rest of it. She said he took her number and “asked her out on a date”. I can’t stress enough, that going on a drive is not a date. Most certainly not for a first date. So he comes and picks her up. In his van. OK, fair enough. If the van was to transport them to their date. Nope. He drives to a chipper and gives her money, telling her to get whatever she wants. When she asked what he wanted he said “No, I’ve already had my dinner.” Stacey was confused. Why would he “bring her out” to get food and not get anything. She just got a bag of chips. They sat in the van, her picking at the chips.

This was when a couple of lads came up to the van. They began chatting and it was clear they were friends of Mark. After a couple of minutes Stacey heard them joke about a mattress. When she questioned it Mark shrugged it off, and the lads left. Stacey thought it was a bit weird. She looked back and pulled the tarp that was dividing the front and back. There in the back of the van was a mattress! She told him to drive her home immediately which thankfully he did.

I wish I could say this helped her becoming more aware of the world and the dirt bags in it but it didn’t.

 

Bré x

As Irish as…

This post is for anyone who hasn’t seen the Aldi “As Irish as” ads, mainly my followers outside of Ireland. There is a few of them but this is my favourite. I thought it was hilarious and it cracks me up every time. You can find the others on YouTube.