I will start this one off by saying this post is about a silly girl getting upset over a stupid boy and doing something ridiculous.
The stupid boy
To start I have to tell you about Lee. Lee is a friend of my friend’s boyfriend. We met for the first time at Electric Picnic last year when a whole load of us went. We got on, flirted a little. I liked him and some of the girls thought it would be funny to go tell him and ask if he liked me (bear in mind we were all 25/26). I didn’t know this at first, and I wondered why he stopped talking to me on the Sunday. Until he told my friend that the girls said it to him and that put him off, because he thought I had asked them to.
We wouldn’t meet again until Longitude this year.
Longitude
I was excited to see him for Longitude. See if anything would happen. Again, we got on well and flirted. After the gig a few of us went into town to a club. I will say now he was fairly drunk, we all were. He spent the night messing with me and flirting. Melissa thought we were definitely gonna hook up because he kept coming over to me. When we were all in the smoking area we were talking and I hoped he’d take the chance to kiss me. He didn’t. A song came on that I liked so me and the girls went back in. Not long after the guys followed. Lee came straight over.
“What’s wrong?”
“What?”
“Are you mad at me?”
I didn’t know why he would think that but I took the opportunity to ask him something that I wasn’t sure about.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“No.”
I was happy but also wondered why he didn’t take the hint and kiss me. He did continue to mess and keep putting his arm around me. I know here is where a few of you will say “why didn’t you kiss him?” but I couldn’t. I have such a fear of being rejected/turned down, whatever you want to call it, I very rarely go in for the kill myself.
Anyway the night ended and we all went back to crash in my friends. No kisses for Bré.
I got the nerve to Facebook him on the Monday and he wrote back but by Wednesday the messages stopped coming.
The silly girl
We would see each other again the next week for his friend’s leaving party, who was travelling abroad with my friend. There was a BBQ in their house so my friend picked me and one of the other girls up. On the drive over we started talking about the drugs we had tried over the years. Or they did. I’ve never really done anything like that, apart from smoking weed once with my first boyfriend years ago. I’ve never felt the need to do pills or coke. In a way though I was little jealous they had done so much.
The something ridiculous
The BBQ went well. At first I was a little embarrassed because he never responded to my last text. But after a couple of hours and a few drinks we were back to chatting and flirting. We all headed out to a club that night. In the queue he stood beside me ad we got in before the rest. We went to the bar and to gauge his response I said “so are you gonna buy me a drink?” and he did. While waiting to be served I stood behind him with my hand on his hip while he looked back and flirted. I thought for sure something was going to happen. We got our drinks and he even said something like “if you’re lucky that’s not all you’ll get tonight” while handing me the drink. It was cheesey and cocky but I was drunk and lapped it up.
We all headed for the dance floor. I climbed the steps, the girls too. Then within what seemed like a second I turned around and he was kissing someone. I felt sad and wanted to cry. Yes we’ve never even kissed before but sometimes a crush can be even stronger than love. I downed my drink. One of the other lads started dancing with me. He had been a bit touchy feely back in the house and so I went into kiss him. Childish yes. The guy pulled away and whispered to me “Bré I’m gay”. Oh that just topped it all. I was mortified. I knew then I wanted to be off my face and that drink just wouldn’t cut it.
I don’t know why the notion got into my head. I mean obviously because we had spoken about it earlier. And I turn completely stubborn when drunk. If I wanted to get drugs nothing anyone said would stop me. It wasn’t hard to get something. I knew a girl outside in the smoking area and as soon as I mentioned it she was showing me the pink pill. I swallowed it without hesitation. If sober now could go back and smack myself I would. But drunk, sad me would still have done it. I think in my head it was like a “f*ck you Lee”, even though me taking drugs would make no difference to him. But we all know our minds don’t think clearly when drunk.
At first nothing happened. I tried to go back out and get something else but my friends stopped me (thank God). In an instance it hit me. It was like everything was intense, in HD or something. I don’t remember much because the night seemed to be over in no time. I remember dancing in a big group of the guys and girls. I know I looked off my face though by the looks my friends were giving me. I’m not sure if Lee knew at this point because he felt the need to come over and ask “Are you annoyed at me?” (He had a habit of asking those type of questions didn’t he? Without thinking I said “how many girls have you kissed tonight?” His response? “What was I supposed to do?”
I was done. I walked away from him and the next thing I remember we were all getting taxis back to my friend’s house. Lee let me stay in his bed. Even then I was trying to get him to come up with me but he stayed on the couch.
The aftermath
The next morning we joked about it so I didn’t have to deal with too much shame or embarrassment. The lads have done worse so they couldn’t say much. I decided to give up on Lee, what was the point.
Now I’ll see him for the last time probably in two weeks, for my friend’s leaving do (she’s following her boyfriend over to Canada). I think I need to resign myself to the fact that he just likes to flirt with me when he’s drunk. So I just won’t put myself in the position to flirt with him. Casually avoid him and just enjoy my night.
What do you guys think? Have you ever done something silly over a boy/girl?
Bré x
writingsofasinglegirl 